Logo by LT Charles “Wingnut” Wickware

Latest Edition: Winter 2019

You know, it wasn’t supposed to snow on Christmas but it did. Since we had nothing on our “want” list Santa saw fit to drop an inch of powder on us, so a white Christmas after all, but it did get cold so it stuck around. And it wasn’t supposed to snow on New Year’s Eve. Oh, just some light freezing drizzle around midnight, they said. Nothing to worry about. We woke up to fiveinches of powder and since there wasn’t any wind it presented a remarkable vista. Later that morning after I had cleaned out the drive I happened to look up at the sky. There was just enough crystalline structure to the passing wisps of clouds to turn them in to prisms. Each one, as it passed through the suns’ rays was lit with pale blues at the tops, ghostly green middles and delicate pinks beneath, so I just stood there and marveled how nature will always be more remarkable than man. And to prove my point that’s just about the time the girl from down the street came by, jogging, through the unplowed street, in sneakers, inappropriately dressed for the weather (fashion before safety!) and looking down at her phone scrolling through her music. So, she never noticed the slick spot in the street and did a full-on face plant in front of my driveway. She picked herself up and went a few doors down the street to her friends’ house. I just glared at her and shook my head and I know she saw me. The next time I saw her in the street she was in boots and dressed warmly, so maybe lesson learned. I hope so, because it got really cold.

The weather clowns just get delirious over terms like “polar vortex” when it’s just a low pressure system that cuts loose from the polar jet stream and dives south past the Canadian border. I’ve actually been through several, but this one was a beast. A fast mover, but a real beast. Starting Jan 29 and ending beginning the evening of Jan 31 actual temps fell to -35 and the wind chill temp clocked at -45. There were reports of -55 and I don’t discount them. Even with three layers of heavy winter wear, including thermals, that kind of penetrating cold will not be denied. But, the dog had to go so she was patient as we got ready and then waxed up her paws and put her coat on her. Ten minutes of prep for less than three outdoors, but that’s the cost of it.

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